This is me...

Ranting, and writings and thoughts, and ideas, and the controlled randomness that is me...

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Tuesday August 2nd, 2011

Well, it is reprupose or die day... My garage has been repurposed into my sewing room. Last night we got a table from My Grrls Gramma, that will be repuposed as a cutting table. Totally awesome. It has a leaf in it, so it has a line that I can use to make straight cuts! I was even thinking about how to add a tape measure in such a way that when the leaf is in and when it is out, it is still accurate. I am still working on that.

Last night was Lammas. Not exactly sure what that is, and I am kinda embarrassed by that... I just know that it was the bread holiday! We got bread and cheese last night, and it was good. My eyes were bigger than my tummy, partially, I think, because I am getting a cold, despite the good fight, I think that My Grrrl and I both are...  :( Lame!

Yesterday I found an email from her that shall not be named in my spam, from over a week ago. Haha, I spammed her! I wouldn't have even found it if I had not been looking for my Pottermore information. That still bugs me that I cannot remember it and cannot find it! UGH

Then last night, there were phone calls from her. I do not want her invading our lives anymore. I try my best to not let it get to me, to put on a brave front, smile, fight the good fight... Don't let her in anymore than she was. She has been banished, she needs to stay banished.

I have been fighting against feelings of resentment about the past months. My Grrrl feels like she was used to get to me. I feel like I was used by My Grrrl to get to her. I hate that I feel that way, and I am trying to fight it. I think that I know logically that is not it. I mean, I don't think that is what she intended, but nonetheless, that is how I feel, and that is my current struggle. I have a hard time talking to My Grrl about it because she gets into a funk when we talk about this kind of stuff, so that is why I vent it here. I need to get it off my chest, not necessarily talk to her about it, because other than her telling me that is not the case, I don't see what more she can do besides love me, which she does... :)

Well, I guess that is it. My head hurts, I am full of snot and my eyes are itchy! even if it is just allergies, it sucks!

I can't wait for this day to be over! Home to My Grrl, My Love, My Soulmate... :)

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