THE NORM I AM BREAKING
For my Folkways paper, I choose to wear two different shoes and boxers shorts over my pants to work and school. I chose this norm to break I am an executive assistant, and as such, I reflect my boss and our department, which is comprised of Nurse Practitioners and Physician Assistants. This is not how I should dress. I normally wear slacks and a nice top to work. On my own time I have more unique clothing choices, and I am ok with the staring that comes with those choices. I chose this Folkway to break because while I do not have an issue in my private life wearing what others might consider odd, I am much more conservative at work.
OBSERVATIONS
My observations from the day are listed below:
Moring Bus Ride:
· People looked at me as I got on the bus, because I was new to the bus, and that always seems to happen, the new person has to be inspected.
· One lady on the bus in the back with me noticed, her young son did not. She looked to me to be holding back a laugh each time she looked over. She did not look me in the face.
· On my way to get breakfast, the cashier noticed, started to say something, but didn't follow through
· 5 separate people seemed to look at my feet, and then would not look me in the face again after that.
· For the most part the bus ride was uneventful once I took my seat. I think that this is because I was seated, and no longer drawing attention.
Once I Got To Work
· People in the halls looked at me because the different shoes made me limp. I think that they noticed me more because of the limp. They would look me over to see what was wrong with me, and then would not look me in the face again in most cases. This seems to be a running theme.
· On my way to get breakfast, the cashier noticed, started to say something, but didn't follow through.
· One Nurse that I work with said that I dress uniquely on a daily basis, so she just didn't notice. I don't understand that statement, because I think that I dress conservatively at work, but perhaps this is just in contrast to my private life?
· One Nurse Practitioner I work with just said outright while I was washing my dishes in the break room, "You have on two different shoes". I explained about the project, and we discussed the places that it is seemingly more acceptable that people dress oddly. For example, at Wal-Mart there are often people in their pajamas shopping. However, at Target, you see less of that. It is, in my opinion, that Target is a little bit more hi-brow than Wal-Mart. I know when I go into Wal-Mart, I can "see my anger" That is another paper all on its own.
· The Staples delivery guy did not seem to notice at all. He was doing his job.
· Another admin assistant joked that I must have gotten dressed in the dark. I explained the project. She did not seem to care one way or the other. I have always felt that she is somewhat stuck up. In my observations, it is because of whom she is assisting (The CNO and that is my bosses boss). She seems to think that because her boss is higher than my boss, she is higher than me. While on the chain of command she is, we basically do the same job, although I have more associated with my job, for less pay. Again, another paper
· A gentleman in the hall looked me in the face, we exchanged smiles, and then he looked at my feet (presumably because of the limp) and did look me back in the face. I can only imagine that he "explained away my behavior"
AT SCHOOL
· While waiting for my ride to school, there was a young man standing outside smoking. He kept sneaking glances at my feet. When I would look at him, he would look away quickly.
· I did get a few glances while I was waiting for my ride, but mostly it was windy and cold, so I think that people were more wrapped up in their own concerns, namely getting inside where it was warm and not windy. People tend to be wrapped up in their own worlds more than not.
· On the way to class, there was a man standing close to the door to our class. He noticed my feet from some distance. He looked me in the face the entire time I walked down the hall. I might have missed other reactions, but I wanted to see if he would say anything as I got closer, so I did not look away. He did not either, and he did not say anything to me. I wonder if he might have had a clue that it was time for "Folkway Norm Breaking Papers"
· The girl sitting in the row in front of me in class noticed at one point during class. I am sure that she assumes this is for the project.
On The Bus Home
Rode the central instead of the Lomas, because I am kind of a regular on that bus... wanted to get the back middle seat, so more people could see me, but I didn't get it... in the back, out of my element, not happy... should have stuck with my bus... there is an older man across from me, he has noticed, and no matter how often, or hard I try to make eye contact, he just won't do it.... there is a lady beside him, she looked at me, and I swear the look she made, not at me, was "well okay...." She keeps glancing down at my feet, but when I look up at her, she looks away...
I think my norm is less about dressing for work, and then it is about dressing for public, or even just matching...
My boxers, I was told by a coworker, just looks like a skirt over leggings or tights. Something I wear on occasion.
A lady on the lower set of seats just made eye contact. Am I put my feelings onto her, or did sue really just look at me like she is disgusted? Gonna call her parka girl...
Ok, that was a definite reaction... young lady, early 20s, in the seat I wanted no less... I looked over to get reaction... that was a dirty look.... no eye roll, just a classic dirty look... gonna look at her again... rank, she moved, I can't see her.
A guy just sat next to me that seem to know the first girl I mentioned...
A packer fan is looking all around, looked at my feet, and seems more interested in what the girl next to me is reading.
Bus is getting crowded... noticed that people don't really want sit in between people. Most would rather stand. Thought about being rude on the bus... sitting ok the outside of a seat and putting my bag in the other seat. I would give up the other seat when asked, but what would it take for someone to ask. thing is, I can't stand it when people do that, so I guess it would have been good to push myself, but I just couldn't.
Ok, might have to change my norm... jamming out on the bus... tom petty, American girl is on my phone... can't not tap my foot, bop my head along... might look up and see if anyone is looking... not really... guy next to me seems to jamming along.. Is my music THAT loud?!
Ok, the first guy just smiled when I finally made eye contact and smiled first... pretty sure he thinks I'm "touched in the head"
Really loving this class... I love what the professor said today about sociology professors make students say "well duh!"
Ok, I like this song less, Danm Cara and her crazy taste... Aqua... yes, Aqua
My stop is soon...
That Night At Target
One lady with her two small children did notice me, and she gave me a sincere smile. At least that is how I felt it came across
HOW I FELT
I felt nervous. I do not like drawing attention to myself around strangers. I was "scared" that someone would have negative comments to make, or actually say something rude to me.
As it turns out, people just like noticing differences in each other. People especially do not like odd differences. They do not like confronting people they do not know.
The only people that said anything to me where those that already know me.
My back hurts and my knees are killing me because of the limp that the shoe difference caused. I have a new appreciation of people with actual limps.
I think that the reason that I am more conservative with my clothing choices at work is twofold. One, of course, is that I am bound by a dress code. The second, I only came to truly realize during this experiment. I want to be taken seriously at work. I want to be seen as on the same page with the snotty lady that works for my bosses boss (the job I hope to have someday).
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