Notebook

So, I started my "Hippie House" Notebook today. I am going to (in theory...) keep ideas and plans and dreams, etc in it. We'll see. I have, thus far, printed my ideas, pics, and plans for how to recapture the washer water, and the kitchen sink water. I took pics a while back. I am not planning to do any of these things until Spring. There is no real point now; I need to take measurements, plan shopping lists, etc. Plus, things will just freeze in the winter. I still have to figure out how to get the hoses out of the house without leaving doors open. The washer water, in the garage, no biggie, we leave that side door open, security screen stays closed, but there is a small dog door, so it can run out of that, or even a small hole drilled higher up, to encourage complete drainage would be fine. And once I figure out how to get the sink water out of the house, no problem there either, since there is a slope to what I plan to water with that water...

So, I started...small steps. I would feel much better about it, except for the fact that I don’t feel well tonight. Other than that, I would be jumping up and down!

One of the projects that I want to work on for the winter is a passive solar heater, I saw a really awesome instructable on it, and I bet I could adapt it for my home. I have ideas on how to do so, I did not add that to my notebook however, because the print out is at the house, and that makes little to no sense to reprint, just to have instant gratification. If you know me, you know that is a HUGE personal step! Ha-ha! Same thing for my composting ideas. I am not sure however if that should be in the Hippie House Notebook, or if it should go in the garden notebook (Sorry, it doesn’t have a snappy nickname yet...)
I also want to “grow” worms, or raise them, whatever… I think that will tie into the compost thing, and since the compost thing will be OUTSIDE, I think that goes in the Garden Notebook (Still no snappy nickname…).

So, that is where I leave this entry. I have done as much as I want to in my Notebooks. I don’t feel well, as I said, and I don’t want them to ever be associated with anything but happy thoughts, so I will put them away for tonight, and work on them in bed this weekend while my awesome Grrrl takes care of me! I’m so lucky!

I do have a crochet project I could probably get done tonight… I didn’t say that out loud, so as not to anger then calmness on the ICU Gods… He!

Good night all, more later!

Grumpy Today

I am so grumpy today. I have a headache. I was fine until I got to work. Well, let’s be honest, not really. There was an “unright” vibe at the house tonight. Seems like everyone is just kinda off. I think that it has more to do with the fact that I don’t feel well. I think that I am loosing the battle with this dang cold. I think that maybe I should just take this weekend, and let it win?

I want to do that, I always say that I am gonna do that, do nothing, I mean. But something always comes up. This weekend I have stuff that I already want to do… I want to help rearrange the room…I WANT to do that. But, nothing else, well, I want to clean the garage, but that can wait. It always does…

My middle child will be gone this weekend, now, if I could just get rid of the other two for a day or two… Then we could have a nice QUIET weekend. Not sure why I type yelled quiet! Haha!

Nurses are grumpy, well 1 of them. Fu*k her. I don’t like her anyhow. My favorite nurse isn’t here. Bummer. The coke machine card reader was down when I tried to get a soda on the way up to the unit…There is a screaming patient at the end of the hall. Screaming so loud sounds like she is right here with me, Doesn’t help the afore mentioned headache… There is a guy in bed 1, who, despite the fact that I feel sure he is just scared being here in the hospital, blah blah blah, is very rude to his nurses, and is yelling for ice cream, etc. There is a family that wants me to limit how many people go visit their loved one, but bring in 5 people at a time. Let me do the job, or don’t ask me to do it…

Its just a bit of everything right now, I’m cold. I think that I will put on my sweater soon. I will start working on my garden notebook, maybe that will bring a smile to my face!?

Hopefully, I am sure it is nothing that a good “nights” sleep cant fix!

Full of it this morning!

So, I totally full of ideas and plans this morning. I am free again. My mind is not locked up in all of the BS that I have had it locked up in. I am free to think, to plan, to dream, to sheme! Mostly, to feel. That is the best part. I feel so alive again. Kinda like I did I stopped taking Melatonin everyday. That was keeping me in a zombified state, and this drama of the past few months, this hiding from myself, those that love me, and the problems that I was having is over. No, facing some issues is not easy, it hurts, I cry on my grrrls shoulder a lot I have noticed. That is ok, she likes it. Well, I dont know if "like" it is the right thing to say, but she is strong, and she is there for me. No, you know what, she does like, because it helps me grow...I can hear her now telling me that she does like it when I cry on her shoulder, infront of her, to her, near her. Whatever. The other night she held me while I had a mild breakdown over 28 year old issues. Its both funny, and NOT AT ALL, how those scars from childhood can mess you up.
Wow, that was strange...I could swear my Dad just knocked on the counter 2 feet away from me...That is truly eerie...Especially since the 28 year old hurts are from my parents, and he is, after all, one f my parents! Haha!

Anyhow, bottom line is that my crafting supplies are going to get used a lot more now, and the kids and my grrrl and I are going to have WAY more craft nights... Get ready baby! Its almost Thanksgiving again ( kinda ) time to bust out the construction paper to make paper turkeys! Remember those? We did that last year, that was fun, except that the grown up got way more into it than the kids! haha! Well, Halloween is closer, so I guess it will be ghosties and ghoulies first!

Haha, I have that silly ELO song stuck in my head.... I'm alive...
Sing it with me baby!

Coupons

I've been trying to use coupons more. I'm a generic kinda girl, so
it's not always worth it. But I want to get the Sunday paper each
week, for the coupons and the funnies!

Sent from my iPod

Muffins

I have always said I wanted to make more muffins. Ok, ANY muffins. Especially in the fall this comes up. They are a good, healthy for the most part, easy to make, cheap to make, snack. There are so many different kinds that can be made, but I poop out, and I talk a big game, but then I go home, so to speak. That is lame! That cannot even be blammed on anyone else, that is all me not doing it! So, my self discovery for today,and my pledge to myself for today, is to ACTUALLY MAKE MUFFINS. IT really is just a syptom pf the problem that I have, that I bestow upon myself, that I cannot blame anyone else for, and that only I can fix... Talkng a big game, and then not following thru. I think that I know why I do it too. Its easier to just not do something, blame it on time, or finances, or other people, than to do it and find out you suck at it... This way, i am perfect and can do anything! If you dont actually try, of course, in theory, you can do anything...

Start From The Start

So, I didn't start from the start on this blog, obviously. My kids and I harvested some grapes a while back, stuck them in the freezer for later use, not sure what, but later use...  Then we had to take them out to make room for groceries, and they got left on the table, in an air tight container ( that seems important to mention now... ) A few days later, we opened them after noticing that there was juice at the bottom of the container. Wouldn't you know it? It had started to ferment... So, being who we are, we said, F*&k It! Lets make wine. So we put some yeast in the container, added some sugar ( we know now that was not necessary... ) And we watched the "wine" and let it ferment more in the garage. It was fun to check each time with my bestest grrrl!

I think it was actually on Maybone ( A celebration on The Fall Equinox more of less ) That my grrrl squished, strained and "perfected" the wine for us to drink. We didn't actually drink any of it yet, well we each had a few sips, but that is about it. If it is still good this weekend, I think that we will have fire time, and drink some of it!

Then, Friday night, we watched this movie called Blood Into Wine, a documentary of sorts about Maynard, the singer of may bands, Tool, and Perfect Circle being two of them, he makes wine in Arizona, and it is ground breaking, because no one else makes it there, well I am sure that others do now, since he has started... Anyhow, it made us want to make more. My grrrl looked up how to do it without investing an arm and a leg. Turns out, what we did, is what you do...So, we tried again. Even bigger grapes this time, further along in the growing process. We got ALL of them off of our vine...

Alas, it was not meant to be, since the container we used was not air tight enough ( that is why that was important... ) Now we know for next year. What hurts is that we have to wait until NEXT FLIPPIN YEAR!!! Oh well, We have been saving the seeds, and we are going to start them in the house, and hopefully, with any luck, we will have some decent plants to put in the ground, and some time to figure out where is the best place t put them. Where we have the original vine now, there isn't much room for more, and it has taken a strong hold, which is good, because so have the morning glories. Nothing else would be able to get a strong foothold in there, so, that is out...

We will still do this blog, but now it will be about the spirit of "F*&k It! Let's Make Wine" Instead of the actual act for now. That just means, in other more common terms, when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Or, F*&k It, Make Wine!

Ahhh, Fu*&k, We Made Mold...

So, the container that we used this time to store the grapes in. Turns out that it is NOT as air tight as the other one that we used, that worked. So, I looked at the grapes today, and, Houston, we have mold... Bummer! Heather noticed it before I did, since I was asleep all day. Again, I say, BUMMER! That was our last harvest of the fall.


Considering that this was only our second attempt, and the first attempt, was indeed an accident...I guess it's  big deal. It is a bummer, but it sucks that we can do it again for a year! We WILL do it again though, for sure!!!

We'll be doing lots of "stuff" like that... Just this past weekend, we covered a blank wall in our room with fabric scraps, it looks AMAZING! Ill post a pic of that too!

So, bummer for the wine/mold, but yeah for our creativity! Let it flow baby!

Good weekend

Had a good weekend. Lots of family time. 2 "feasts". Got some chores
done. Got an awesome project in our room done! Quality time with my
best grrrl. Finish up by laying out under the stars together in the
courtyard... Some tough subjects covered, worries shared, scary
emotions out on the table...overall good stuff. Oh yeah, I
rediscovered my nappin Heather, greatest thing ever. This week holds
new challenges, but just like everyday since our new start, we are up
for them, facing them head on. No one can stop us if we want it, and
we do...

Sent from my iPod

Goals for myself

1. Learn to stand up to my family about my life decisions.

2. Learn to say what I mean... everytime, everything that I mean.

3. Learn that appeasing others by telling them what I think that they want to hear, is, in the end, a bad way to go about things.

4. Learn that it is MY life, and the things that I CHOOSE to do and say, and think, and the people that I choose to love and spend my time, and life with, are up to me in the end...

5. It is my life, I must live it, no one else has to face my "judgement" in whatever form it may or may not come in the end...

feeling good

Running around like a chicken with my head cut off here at work. But I feel good. Tummy hurt last night, something was funny with the burgers at dinner. But I feel good. The guy on the city bus in front of me was kinda stinky. But I feel good.

I feel good because things are looking up everyday with my grrrl. Everytime we talk, we're stronger. Everything that we do, makes us better.

Looking up, feeling better, trying hard. Looking forward to the future, whatever it may hold.

:) Things are good! Stayin on the right path! Trying hard!

Tired today

I know that I have not been doing my self discovery work much this
week. The few things that I did come up, just popped intony head, so
that was easy. I know I like fairies? That was listed as a to do in my
list...just fairies? What, exactly was ulibthinking I should do about
that? Maybe look at pics for the house or something? Who knows...

I know I don't want to go to therapy. But I don't really know why? I
mean, is it because if Roberta, or is it because I am afraid of what I
will be told? I'm not trying hard enough, I'm not being fair, were not
good for each other? I could have told you that. Sometimes we are not
god for each other, but we are working in being good for each other do
we really need help for that?

I'm still disappointed in myself for Thursday night, but what can be
done bow other than to learn from it?

I have a headache, shouldve listened to Heather, and taken an asprin
last night, but I didn't wake up with this headache, it just came on.

One more thing, about the bathroom idea for the move, i understand the
idea, and the reasoning, I agree with it, it's just going to be a pain
in the butt for all involved...

Sent from my iPod

new goal for me

I know its not New Years, and I know it is a tiny thing, compared to some of the things that I have to work on ( not letting my mother get to me... ) But... my new current goal, is to write 1 thank-you note a week. Just for whatever, something small or something big, like that. That reminds me, I need to write my birthday Thank Yous...

1st entry

Yesterday morning, I figured out that I actually like fairies. This sort of things has been an issue for me, not fairies, but figuring out if I like something because I like it, or if it is because someone that I care about does, and I have made myself like it, to please them?

Anyhow, yesterday, when I was moving a poster of fairies to the kitchen from the hall, I decided that I do indeed like them because I like them. My grrrl likes them too, that is great, something we actually have in common. But more importantly, I like them.

Well, that is all for this morning, I am tired, and that was just kind of a test to see if this blog works, and I can get my grrrl following it!