Saturday was Marie's birthday. There was more momma drama, and I am fed up with it. My sister has been putting her two cents in, at my request, and at first, I agreed with her input, but I am agreeing less and less... I need to let my mother know why it is that she wont be seeing the kids anymore, at their request. They are fed up with her too.
If she could just realize that she is NOT in charge of my kids, that might go a long way. If she would come to terms with the fact that her input cant be in put ONCE and then LET IT THE FU*K GO, that, also, would go a long way... But she doesn't. She has not, and it seems she never will.
It makes me sad that my kids have one less set of people that love them, because even though she loves them, in her way, she has made them, and us, not like her, and it is hard to be around someone you don't like, no matter how much you want to love them.
Anyhow, onto a cheery note... I have been working on Yule stuff, that always makes me happy! And my current goal is to use up all of the little balls of yarn to make my 40th birthday blanket. This is a dual good project. That makes me happy as well!
Cara is taking the ASVAB today, and Heather is there waiting with her, much to her dismay I think. I guess she didn't realize that she had to wait there while Cara took it, so that Cara would have an adult to help her fight the pressure of the recruiter. This is why my sister was going to go with her, but was not able.
Lots of people think that it is a good idea for Cara to join the Army. I am not so sure. Maybe it is because I feel like I am giving up on her? Because I know that it means that she will not be going to school right away, and maybe not at all... Maybe it is because I know that she will be gone soon, and while I am ready for the older two to start moving on, and moving out (when it is time), I don't know if I am ready for her to be so far away (depending on where she goes...) I do know, in my head, that it might indeed be what is best for her, and I need to let her move on with her life, and let her free, (Not like my mother), but it is not as easy to my heart as it is to my head...SILVER LINING ALERT... If she does indeed move out (after graduation), we can finally move into her room, and turn our room into the rec room. Which, and I will fight for this point, will be for family, not just for the adults...
Today my boss is not next door, she is sleeping so she can work tonight, and I, quiet frankly, and without motivation and lost! Listening to Harry Potter 1, and even that is not really doing it for me. My neck hurts, but not nearly has bad as it did this time last week. I think that it really helped having My Grrrl back in bed where she belonged!
Well, now that my bitch session is over, I better get to it. I do have a to do list, so I guess I better to-do it!
Blessed Be
Misty