April 17th, 2011

Just a day, nothig to exciting. Got up, got ready, did some chores.
Took the swamp cooler to my oven of an office. Went to see my Nana,
came home, did some yard work, now, my Grrrl and I are relaxing
watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Beautiful day, windows
open, gonna grill tonight!

Should be a great night too, early to bed, payroll & a new boss
tomorrow.

Nothing cuter than a Chinese girl with an Irish accent! I love Harry
Potter!

That's all for today.

All my best creations are by accident. Could that be why the things I
TRY to do usually don't turn out so well?! ;)

A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something
- Frank Capra

Today is a MUCH better day. April 16th, 2011

7 years ago today my Grrrl and I made a commitment to each other to
always be together, and always be there for each other, and, and,
and...to be honest I don't remember the vows we made to each other,
other thanthowe of any married couple. And we did it on the kitchen
floor of the family's cabin. It was beautiful. I still love and
cherish and appreceiate her, and just plain ole adore her...

So, yesterday, was a PMS day, for sure. Between that and to little
sleep, and my hot office, and all the excuses I could make, it was a
bad day. My Grrrl came to my office after our sons appt. and convinced
to me to go home and rest. So, I knocked off a few hours early and we
came home. We watched Harry Potter 7.1 ( and the Deathly Hallows ).
Our girlfriend tried to get out of coming over, and there was some
back and forth with her and my Grrrl. My Grrrl told me that alour
anniversary would not be ruined ( she is right so far ) and that I
should not be worried about things. It was a good talk, turned out to
be a good night.

Right now, we had started a Harry Potter Marathon, after a bit of yard
work, my grapes , i mean the vineyard is looking really good so far. I
fell asleep during the first Harry Potter and my girl came out to her
car to fix her speakers. Now I'm awake, I joined her, and got some
great pics of the birds that live in our carport! I will upload them
later. Maybe include. Them in a blog next week. I think that I will
make each weekday a certain theme. Like Monday can be pictures. I try
to get outside each night to take a few pics, name em Foto Fun
whatever date...one day can be devotes to things we have or want to
repurpose. Well, I'll work on it this weekend. That can be this
weekends Mental Mission!

That is all for now, gonna go be with my family, oogle my wife, get
some grub for grillin' and enjoy our anniversary. Maybe we should
write new vows? <3

All my best creations are by accident.

Cool Sign Off... April 15th, 2011

So I sat down last and tried to think of a good sign off for my blog. I have come up with one, and I will end this blog with the the sign off and then I will try and blog again later. Today, thus far has been poop. Fighting with my Grrrl, I don't feel well, I feel like I am going to be sick, and therefore I am not looking forward to tonight, or the weekend at all for that matter. Worried that my anniversary is going to go badly. Irritated that someone I don't even like as much as people think that I do, is getting to me because she didn't text me yesterday. That this person is up before the sun to get in the first good morning to my Grrrl, but I don't hear form here until 9:00am.

Lack of sleep, and a stomach "bug" or something... I just wanna cry, I want to take it easy today, I have been up since 5:00am, and I wanted to take today easy, but that won't happen, now I have all of these projects on my desk, and I just wanna cry. Things are not OK. I just want a nap...

I just want to be alone.
I just want to be cooled off.
I just want to feel 100% again.
I just want to have 1 or 2 things on my plate.
I just want to relax.
I just want to sleep.
I just want to watch Harry Potter.
I just want to be happy.
I just need a nap.
I just want to be in my comfy jammies.
I just want to be excited about this weekend, but all I feel is that a jealous hissy fit is going to erupt from me soon.
I just want my 11 year old not to argue with everything that I say.
I just want my 17 year old to never roll her eyes at me again.
I just want my 15 year old to not  NEED that guys attention so badly that she will allow herself to be treated like crap.
I just want my Grrrl to get out of the dark place that I fear that she is going. She is snapping at the kids and at other things, more and more. What more can I do to make her happy? I have gone along with things that she has wanted. I have tried things that she wanted to try. I have done everything that I can think of, and all I do is make things worse for her, and for me.
Why can't I just be happy.
Why can't I just go with the flow.
Why do I let people get to me?
Why do I care if the person that I don't even care about that much doesn't text or call me first.
Why do I care if she calls my Grrrl all the time?
Why do I care that when I tell me Grrrl I wanna have the Harry Potter marathon downstairs with the kids, she is going to be irritated. Maybe she won't actually be, but she will come across that way.
Why can't I just take her at her word, and not at her actions? Because actions speak louder than words, that is why.
Why do I get upset deep in my heart when she talks about the other girl so much.
Why does it hurt my soul when she talks about loving us both?
Why do I allow it?
This was not supposed to be about loving someone else was it?
This was supposed to be about experimentation.
Why is there such a double standard?
I can't do this anymore right now.
Pity Parties never end well... So mine is over.
However, I know when my Grrrl reads this, she will come to me and try to make it better, which is great, but I know when she offers to stop the "other" part of our relationship with our girlfriend, she will do it begrudgingly, and with much pain in her heart. That is not OK. There should be no pain in her heart to lose the other person. That is not normal, and that hurts that it will be there.

Al mijn beste creaties worden door accidenr.  (That is my sign off... )

Busy Thursday April 14th

Been busy, little things, here and there, to busy to write done much of what is going on in my head. Got lots of little things done, paperwork, personal paperwork that is. And of course, work paperwork too. I glued some "potential projects" in my new "inspiration book". OR I glue magazine clippings of "things that I want to do, but will never get around to actually doing" in my "old journal"...

There is a cute little dress in there made from a mans dress shirt. I have seen variations on this, but I would really like to try it. I have a lot on my plate this weekend, but maybe that will be one of the things that I actually get done! Who knows. This weekend is my anniversary. 7 years! Holy cow! Best 7 years of my life. :) We will celebrate by watching all of the Harry Potters, yeah, we're nerds!

I have a killer headache right now, and I am super tired! I have a busy day ahead of me tomorrow too. Have to take the kiddo to the doctor from that accident on the 4th, and who knows how long that will take, plus I have to go to work, and get a lot of last minute things done before my new boss takes over on Monday!

Tonight, I think that there will be much laying around, and much going to be early! That is what I see in the future!

I finished another pair of slippers today! They are not perfect and there are something that I just cant do the same from slipper to slipper, and I dont even know how I am doing them different! Anyhow, they are comfy! I won't give them as gifts until I get them to be the same from pair to pair, heck from slipper to slipper, which may mean never! But, my kiddos will like em, and my girlfriend likes her pair, and I love mine. Not sure how my Grrrl will feel about them, she prefers nekked feet anyhow! :)

Well, the man child will be here soon, and the day is drawing to a close. Time to close up shop and head to the homefront where the wife and kids are waiting... haha! I just wanna see my Grrrl and give her a hug, and NOT touch her sunburn!

Gotta find a cool sign off for this... that is tonights mental mission... ohhh, that is a new one too... Mental Mission. When I have something that I need to plan or think about, but not actually do yet... I think that I am going to like Mental Missions. Heck, I am putting that as a subsection in my iPod calendar right now!

All of my best creations are by accident...

April 13th, 0700

I had a minor breakdown last night, not really a breakdown, as much as
a hissy fit. I know why I THINK it happened, because my Grrrl answered
the phone while we were outside and I was taking pictures. I just
wanted undivided attention, but there was more to it. I can't remember
now and that bugs me! So, when I have these hissy fits, I'm gonna blog
right away. Maybe that way I'll be able to find my "root". Hahaha!

More later

A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something
- Frank Capra

April 12th, 2011

Today I am tired, so very tired. I am afraid that I am getting sick, and boy, how I do NOT want that for me. This weekend is my anniversary. We have been married, for better and for worse for 7 years on Saturday. We have had better and we have had worse, and now that have been through both, we are working for better all the time. That, is the "Why I love my Grrrl" reason for today.



I am putting up some pics that I took this weekend, I think it was this weekend, if not this weekend, then it was last week sometime. Either way, it has not been more than 10 days...

 I love the leaves.

As they are opening up to the world.

So pretty.

:)

Can't wait to get the grapes!

  Maybe make some more "fu*k it" wine.

Not that we drink!

But, it is fun to watch, and see it create itself!

I love my Vineyard.

Monday April 11th...

It's Monday again. The day started off pretty good. I got a fridge in my office! Woohoo! I rearranged some stuff in said office. I made more room on real shelves, just my thing! The landscaper came by the house today, perfect timing, I had just looked up some flowers that I wanted to see if I could get in there! My Grrrl was awesome and passed it along, since I could not be at the meeting. Now, I am done with a ton of billing, finally, and I am about to do some surveys, not my favorite thing, ugh! I can't breath, well I can breath, I am not turning blue, but... I am stuffy beyond comfort.

Our girlfriend is supposed to come by and get some stuff for school taken care of. I hope that she hurries, I don't want to be late today. My mom is going to drive me and the man-child home today. She has some things for us. That is nice, but I must admit that I am dreading telling her about the xeriscaping opportunity. I fear that she won't take it well, and think it is some personal attack on her. I appreciate her help with all of the things that she helps us with, but I dislike her irrational feelings that everything is a personal attack on her.

Anyhow, time to go do surveys.

Sorry, that today's blog is not so exciting, I am beat!

Oh, what I love about my Grrrl today. Let's see... She's all kinds of cute! She is getting better about letting me help her. And our 7 year anniversary is coming up soon. I am very excited. I think that we are going to buy Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows part 1 on DVD Friday, and spend the weekend watching all of them, to prepare for the last one coming out in July. We will go out to dinner that night I think too... It will upset the girlfriend I am sure, that she can't come over that night, that is our night to get together. I just talked to my Grrrl, we will invite the girlfriend over Friday night, and maybe Wednesday too.

So, back to work...