This morning talking to my son about my mother, and what time she was coming to get him, he suggested that she could give me a ride to the bus, its kinda ugly outside, I told him that I could not depend on her to get me there in time... Then it hit me...
I CAN'T DEPEND ON MY MOTHER... I CAN'T DEPEND ON MY MOTHER... That is something that should not be news to me, yet it was like a lightbulb went off... And ill say this... It's painful to realize, even though I knew it...
I'm sitting here on the bus thinking of who I can depend on... My kids? To an extent, they are, after all, kids... My sister? Not really... My Grrrl is really the only one I could count on in a real emergency...Household stuff? That is a different thing, we have different ideas about what is what. Same with my Yule prepping... I don't want till the last moment on it, plus I want to make the season last long, and prepping for it at least let's ME be in that mood, but no one really understands me reasoning for things... I know that even in my Yule prepping, there are touches of my childhood issues, but that doesn't change the fact that I have turned it around, to attempt to make a negative a positive...is that so wrong?
Bottom line here, I think that for certain things, I can only count on myself...that is, maybe, the way that most people feel? I don't want to depend on others so much that my fate, choices, and outcomes are in hands other than my own...
I'm sitting here on the bus thinking of who I can depend on... My kids? To an extent, they are, after all, kids... My sister? Not really... My Grrrl is really the only one I could count on in a real emergency...Household stuff? That is a different thing, we have different ideas about what is what. Same with my Yule prepping... I don't want till the last moment on it, plus I want to make the season last long, and prepping for it at least let's ME be in that mood, but no one really understands me reasoning for things... I know that even in my Yule prepping, there are touches of my childhood issues, but that doesn't change the fact that I have turned it around, to attempt to make a negative a positive...is that so wrong?
Bottom line here, I think that for certain things, I can only count on myself...that is, maybe, the way that most people feel? I don't want to depend on others so much that my fate, choices, and outcomes are in hands other than my own...
So Mote It Be
Misty
)O(
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