Knitting update 2.0

Think I have the cast on thing down...My Grrrl helped me kinda get the
"knit stitch" as seen on the I can't believe I'm knitting DVD. And now,
I give up for the night. I don't feel well. Having a near emotional
breakdown. Knitting is supposed to be relaxing, thought it would help.
Guess it's only relaxing if you already know how to do it?! Going to
bed now. Kids are in bed, now it's our turn! Pirates marathon maybe?
Or just mind numbing Adult Swim? No more thinking tonight!
Good night!
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Knitting update

Learned to cast on...not looking good past that...
Sent from my iPod

Giant Mess

Well, today started off well. I was sleeping... Then it went downhill from there. After a doctors appt. where it turns out that Cara's ankle might be broken after all, there was family chaos and tragedy, and I am ashamed to say that I didn't handle it well, and I was mean to those that do not deserve it. Now, I have been forced by my evil housegaurd  to stay home and be taken care of, and pampered, even though I do not deserve it! How rude ;) So, that is where I leave this entry, about to "get it".., Pray for me

No Muffins This Weekend

No muffins this weekend. I printed tons of recipes, We were going to start with apple muffins, because I had apples that needed to be used, I even made applesauce out of them Thursday night in preparation. So, I leave the recipe out for my girls to make Saturday, they are both in culinary arts, so its nice to let them bake. They always leave a mess, but that is a small price to pay I think. Well, most of the time its a small price. Especially when I am not the one that cleans the kitchen, but I always try to get to it 1st after they have cooked. OK, anyhow.... Marie, my oldest, left me a note explaining how my apple muffin recipe has a split personality because it turns into banana nut muffins half way through the directions! Oh bother! I think that I will look for another recipe. I have to, I said that I want to make muffins. However, as my Grrrl pointed out, having the kids make them is not exactly me making muffins! Maybe I should clarify... I want muffins baked muffins around the house... There we go, that technicality ought to save my fanny!

Weekend Build Up - Melt Down!

Well, I went a little crazy this weekend. Don't have a good excuse. Lots of little explanations that added up and contributed to my breakdown on Saturday night!

First, I am tired, I slept a good portion of the weekend, I am not feeling well, and that is why I slept. I am nervous about my new job, and this is the first time that I have been able to verbalize it… I am VERY nervous about it. I have not done 8 hours over there yet, and I am itching to get out of there after 3 usually, so this is going to be interesting. Not to mention, that I don't even have my own cubicle over there, so I have to squeeze in where ever they can fit me, and I hate that. I usually wind up and some messy area where I don't have the space I need to work and it is so cluttered that all I want to do is clean up, but it's not my stuff to clean! UGH! I am nervous, and I am scared about it, and I don't want to leave the job that I have, I don't want to leave the area that I am in, I don't want to leave the people, but mostly I don't want to leave the comfort. I know everyone here. I am a shinning star here. I don't want to go where I don't know anyone, where I am not already established as awesome, and most of all, won't lead to the job that I want someday, office supervisor… UGH! Lots of shadows here, and I am running to hide in each one I can see. Not good. I have to look on the bright side. I don't feel well right now, and this past weekend, was short by my standards, and it was my last night shift weekend to boot. NOT HAPPY!  Oh well. Have to move on. I know this is true. Right now, I'm not feeling it!

So, back to my breakdown, oh yeah, I am sure that my mothers model behavior as a 5 year old didn't help my mood, although I don't think that it affected me. I tried very hard not to let it affect me. I am tired of her controlling me with her tantrums, and that is one of my goals…

So, Saturday night, the house was getting to me, on top of all of that other stuff, and I broke… I got mad at my Grrrl. I threw a fit. I told her I thought that we were regressing. More like I was regressing… because I didn't talk to her, I let it build up until I exploded! Honestly, I don't even realize that I am doing that, though. I mean, like I told her the other night, I walk by the dish that has been left on the floor for 5 days that we fed the dogs a treat in, not picked up for 5 days, and I say "ugh" to myself. Then I see that the animals have no water downstairs, another "ugh". Then there is crap all over the living floor from where the stooped cat claws at the rug, and another "ugh" gets added on the "ugh" tower. Pretty soon, the "ugh" tower falls, and falls in grand manner. And anyone near, when it happens is in trouble! Look out, Misty's gonna blow. I don't know how, but I need to stop when I see an "ugh" and express it, so it looses its power. That sounds so cheesy, but it's true.

So, I let my Grrrl know that I need more consistency in the way the house is cleaned. We are different people, and we have different styles, but I need more regularity in how things get done, so that I can count on a clean living room each Friday, for example. I did have a build up breakdown, but I stand by what I said about the house and how it needed more consistency.

So, my Grrrl, as awesome as she is, asked me to help her make a schedule. She planned it; she just needed my help getting it onto a spreadsheet. So, that is done! I am very excited. We will see how well it goes. She is not one to follow schedules, but she has changed a lot, and she wants to work on our relationship, and she knows I need this. I am sure there will be bumps in the road, but no road is smooth all the time…

Well, that is all, things are about to get busy here at work, so off I go to be the shinning start that these people know that I am!

Small Steps Taken Every Day

Sunday, my Grrrl looked at the Hippie House notebook that I made, and made some notes in it! Awesome input. Awesome suggestions! Awesome that she did that in general!

We moved the fancy Gramma coffee table out of the living room. It is not "us" but it was from her Gramma, so we used it for sentimental reasons. We have decided to redo the living room, for the winter, or just because? Not sure, but our chairs will be closer to the fire, I like that! Good for winter! Woohoo!

We moved her grandpa's foot locker in place of the Gramma coffee table. We are going to pull the nightstands out of the closet, the ones her Dad gave us, in place of the end tables from her Gramma. Those are a little more "us". Less fancy for sure. That is good, except I have Xmas stuff hidden in there! D'oh! Ill have to find a new hiding place! Ha ha! No worries, I'll just have to remember to write down where I hide it next!

We did some more awesome stuff to our bedroom. I’ll post pictures soon. We moved the furniture; we covered another wall in fabric. It’s awesome. We hung some shelves. She did some stuff tonight while I have been at work; I am excited to see what she did when I get home! We have more stuff to do, but I think that I will sleep first! Ha ha!

Things are moving along nicely with our nest. Like Megan from Threadbangers says “Your nest needs you” I think that is more than just the design elements… I think it means more emotional attention to your nest and those who share it with you… OK, well maybe that is 4:00 a.m. insight, but some of my best insight is from 4:00 a.m.

That’s it for now!

I WILL learn to knit

OK, so it might not seem like it right now, but I'm not going up! I
got 2 book from the library, 1 that's not what I thought, and the
other than my Grrrl said was useless to her. I am a visual learner, so
I tend to believe her...my oldest daughter also found me a DVD at when
we were at the library...she and I just watched it, maybe I'm to
tired, maybe it's because I just woke up, or I'm still sick, but I
couldn't get what that lady was showing us! We even put I on slow
motion, each time either of thought we had it, we didn't...UGH!
One of the nurses at work told me she would teach me, but we don't
work together often, and now hat my schedule is changing, even less
so... Now, should she tell me "lady, you suck, give it up" I'm not
giving up...
I don't think that I had this much trouble learning to crochet, but
that was, in my opinion, because I spent all those summers in the den
with Gramma, I learned a bit by osmosis, and then, I watched my grrrl
when her mom taught her, and I got it. From there, teaching myself
other stitches, was pretty simple! Funny thing is, the way my grrrl
crochets, is NOT the way I do it...? Funny! Osmosis & watching, I got
it...But this, is harder!
I'm taking my youngest daughter to a friends now, then back to bed for
work tonight ( AFTER I play a card game with my son! ) maybe I'll have
time to YouTube tonight at work. Not giving up. I want a pair of socks
by Xmas! OK, maybe that goal is a bit hardy, but I'm not stopping!
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